I LOVE BEN!

SO . . . I do.

Every thing is so GOOOOOOD!

I can't wait to see him. . .

again.

I miss . . .

So many things about him.

his smile
his laugh
his touch
his eyes
his lips

I could fill up this whole page and still keep going. This is hard but it is ok because it is only for a little while. I know that he loves me and that is all that matters.

Wow this is Weird

I'm done . . . Weird. I am happy and sad all at the same time. --->going swimming tomorrow- should be fun. Cleaning as well. My apartment is going to look spectacular folks.

Also tomorrow a date (with my Ben) and possibly party and no school hanging over my shoulder. Fun stuff! Can't wait!

WHO KNEW?

That really gross people could get grosser . . . Really ... I mean this guy that I used to know (who I thought was REALLY gross) (and he was) well he used to try to get me to go out with him. Now, I being the nice person I am said "hell no" (ok those of you who really know me know that I really didn't say that but still)

anyway - I saw him again today - he works at a local restaurant and I was there with some of my friends and we were getting drinks. Well I didn't order anything (cuz I am poor) and he goes "what not gonna order anything" and I said "no - I'm a poor kid" He laughed and said he would 'cover' me ( I bet he would) *wink, wink* and then I was like "uh ok?" (HEY who am i to pass up free drinks? Im a poor kid remember!)

So then what does this dude have the balls to do? ask me what I was doin later tonight:) *giggle, giggle* So everyone at my table went "ooooooooo" like they know anything. lol So I said -uh I'm gonna be studying tonight. You'd think a man would get a clue but NO he goes "well don't study come over" and then everyone at my table went "oooooooo" again (I so coulda stabbed 'em with a fork) and then I said "um I really have to study - I have a final" so he said ok. Then he said he would "call me later"

WHAT THE CRAP - you know I can't be mean to people - grrrrrr. *sigh* he has already called me tonight and I didn't answer - so maybe he will get a clue - but I don't he is pretty stupid .. and did I mention gross?

So, So, Happy!

Finals are finally over this year! 3 A's and 2 B's. I am excited. I kicked Algebra and Chemistry's ass. I really proved that I could accomplish something I set out to do and that even when something is hard I can push just a little harder and accomplish my goals. Yeah me! LOL

Anyone out there .... Hello?

ummm so what? School is over and suddenly everyone drops off the face of the planet? What the crap? I miss everyone ... even Russell, no wait I have a better one ... I even miss Alvin - ok I won't go THAT far - I am just being dramatic. But anyway, people should write ... or call or something ok? Especially when Ben leaves because I will be so sad :(

This is why I DON'T live in the "real world"

AHHHHHHHHHH - whew I feel better. This whole "real world" thing sucks ass. Look, I have lived on my own before and it was not as complicated as moving into this apartment with Elizabeth. I hope it all works out- but there seems to be so many things going wrong - you know? I just am scared that it is all going to fall apart. Oh well I guess I will do what I have to do ... I will take care of it ... like always.

I think I have a problem

Ok, I know all of you are already nodding your heads in agreement - BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD WHAT MY PROBLEM IS YET! (ya'll are mean) *tear*
Anyway, I am supposed to be diligently studying chemistry right now so I can pull of a C in that horrific class - but I can't, I just can't study anymore. If I do my eyeballs will fall out of my head and my brain will ooze out of my ears. So ... If you think I am not attractive now - just WAIT - I will be even more ugly and Ben will have to buy me a mask! (it's not funny - stop laughing) But seriously, I think I am going to go to Elizabeth's and partake in some "special sauce" even before finals are over- is this wrong???? I think not. <>> *it's almost over, it's almost over*

Your Song Music by Elton John Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Well I've been thinking ... and that can be dangerous

I've been thinking a lot lately about people ... in general. I just wonder how some people can be so self-centered and so horrible that they lose sight of everything good. There are so many good things in this world. Even though we all like to mostly complain - really we have it pretty damn good. I mean yeah - maybe a lot of things suck for me but all I really want is just want one person in this world to look out for me - you know? I mean, I know all of you do, but I don't know. I guess I just want to feel safe. Like I don't have to take care of everything. But then again is there ever safety when you have horrible people in the world? And I guess I should be glad I can take care of "business" but at the same time ... sometimes I don't want to. I just want to forget and be left alone. I guess you should just not think about those things- but I can't help it today ... it's been a rough day.

The Master of Brownies

Ok ... do you know that I have a friend that is the master of brownies. I must give him props because the brownies were so "GOOD!" He told me how he makes them and it was long a complicated with many steps that I am too lazy to write out. But he adds his special sauce "and no, not that ... Ben..." he adds chocolate syrup --- he is a god - Seriously. Too bad Amber is not here to enjoy :(

Speaking of Capes ...

So a girl was wearing a really big "frodo" like cape at chemistry today. I swear she looked like a hobbit. So being the awesome people we are, Ben and I decided that we both need a cape. Now not a "frodo" cape but more of a superhero cape. Bens will be black and white zebra stripes with the logo "Boss" on it. Mine will be bedazled and perhaps tie-dyed and the logo is still undecided. You like? Anyway the next time anyone is like "hmmm what should I get Chelsea for her birthday/christmas/EASTER...?" just remeber - CAPE! Oh and by the way. Ben would totally "do" the girl because she has a cape - no matter how hard he protests, I know the truth, I know ...

Being a slacker always pays off ... ALWAYS

Well guess what? My math teacher was sick today so no math exam until Wednesday! SWEET! now I can watch more movies and eat more brownies ... uh I mean study. Chris (the 5th roommate) is letting my try out his laptop so I can decide if I want to buy it. I am super excited to finally have a laptop. And I know that if something goes wrong with it I can ask Benny wenny or the rus man or prob even Chris since they are all so super smart and I am just a lowly "regular" nerd not an "super" nerd. I know, no cape - but whatever. But anyway, I am excited. That is all the news here - 'cept my Ben is LEAVING me :( *tear* *snif* but hopefully if everything works out they way we want it to, I will be seeing him in July ... maybe.

Diligent is my middle name

So it is time for me to be studying for my math exam because it is tomorrow and I did dreadful on the last one. I vowed to work extra hard so I could pull off at least a B in this class. So What am I doing right now? Well ... I am posting a comment about how I SHOULD be studing math, and listening to Alanis AND eating brownies. (that I made myself ... and NO i didn't burn, singe or mutilate them in anyway)(they are actually very good) SIGH I DO NOT WANT TO STUDY MATH!!!!! I WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE WITH BEN!!!! Well I am going to go now because I really do have to study and my reward will be the movie. wish me luck guys!

Hey Strangers

Sorry its been so long folks - just been "preoccupied" and sadly there is no "wink, wink," or "nudge, nudge" anywhere in that preoccupation. DAMN! Just school and work, which I am sure no one cares to hear about. BTW "I Like Trains!" how many times can you hear this phrase in a four hour period without slapping someone?? Well apparently 57 times. I love children ... really I do, but come on! Learn some other English for crying out loud. How about "Miss Chusey is beautiful" I could hear that all day long and be JUST fine. Alright well that's all for now. I love you guys!

Quack Shack

I swear I hate UTTYLER's stupid health center! They suck, they don't know what they are doing, they are stupid and they suck - did I already say that? Well good! Now I have reemphasized it. When you have a fever, and green stuff is coming out of your nose and your throat, then I THINK you need an antibiotic ... but that's just me. Apparently I only need over the counter medicine as I am not dead yet. Well I got mad and told the doctor that I needed antibiotics and she gave in ... (yes I rock - thank you) And now I will hopefully feel better. Now off to sleep and dream of a bulldozer and the quack shack doing a little dance.

So who would wear soft shoes on a day like this?

Me - that's right folks - Me! Do you think I am scared of a little (ok a lot) of rain? NOPE I am not! I laugh at the rain - I mock you rain - I fart in your general direction. So now my feet are really really wet and I am really really cold - :( Oh well I will be better soon. That is all - Unless anyone wants to join me in a chorus of Rain, Rain, Go Away? Ok fine - then here:

Everyday it rains
Everyday it rains 'cause things will never be the same
Everyday it rains
Things will never change cause I am not the one to blame

How can I try to make you understand that I'm
Only living a lie
'Cause I have to walk around everyday
With a smile
Everyday

(Chorus)

Waking every morning knowing you're not there
Is the only thing that gets me scared
All I do is think of you and all the love we shared
Everyday

It keeps on rainin in my life
It rains
And every day's the same
Baby you brightened up my life
So realize

Everyday it rains yeah
Things will never be the same
I am not the one to blame
Just because it rains everyday oh

I'm not the one to blame

Believe me when I say that it rains everyday
Got a cloud over me all the time and I
Don't know why it rains
It rains and rains

(Chorus)

Waking every morning knowing you're not there
Is the only thing that gets me scared
I don't know when you're comin home
But I'll be waiting with open arms
Believe me when it rains
It rains for real

Chess ...

I had a very interesting lesson with Warbenekar - apparently he went "easy" on me, so I only sucked - but I didn't suck ass. Oh and ALSO - I could have made a lot "smarter" moves. But don't you guys worry - he will pass on his infinite knowledge to 'lil 'ol me and my 'lil 'ol brain. So hopefully I will move on from sucking to adequate

Look! Look! Look!

AWW! we are SO CUTE!

Look who's happy :)

*MUAH*

My boyfriend folds his dirty clothes

Is there something wrong with this>? I'm not SURE but I think there might be - Of course we all have our problems - but dirty clothes? Oh well ...