Underground Villa?

I just had the need to reiterate the conversation that transpired between Ben, Myself, and our good friend Russell. Before I begin the dialouge I must set the stage. We are at the local taco bell/long john silvers (don't ask me how that combination happened ... it just did) and we are eating and chatting. Ben said something that is not suitable to write on this blog but lets just say it had something to do with ...umm... Ben being a guy and taking everything out of context

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" I laughed
"No, you see, Chelsea, where I live... the gutter is ... like the skylight" Ben replied.
Russell nodded his head in agreement
I rolled my eyes at my husband
"It is very energy efficient to live underground" Ben continued "It pretty much heats and cools itself down there."
"Oh, yeah!" said Russell "It is also cost efficient how you have those energy saving lightbulbs all over the place, they also help out a lot in your underground villa"

UNDERGROUND VILLA? uh huh.

The conversation continued with Ben and Rus going on, in great detail, how an efficient underground villa should be designed. I zoned out during this conversation, thank God, however, I did hear how they thought the doors should be just like the ones on the Star Trek Enterprise.....

Holiday mood

The cold weather has hit Texas finally and I am enjoying every minute of it! The cold weather makes me happy. I tend to associate this weather with the coming holidays. We celebrated Halloween on Saturday. I threw my first official party in our new apartment and it was so much fun. We had food, drinks, friends, and 'Grindhouse'. What could be better?

Let me tell you .....

Nothing.

Crock pots are a gift from God

Thank you God, for crock pots. Seriously you just throw a bunch of random crap in a pot and turn it on. I swear I am in love. Thank you, Grandma, who knew I would need this because I hate cooking and thank you, God, for inspiring the person who invented crock pots.

ohhhh Halloween!!!!

I can't wait. I am going to be a fairy and Ben is going as a Garden gnome. too funny. I think it is perfect considering we have a measly 20 dollars to spend on Halloween this year. now I just have to figure out how to make a tall pointy red hat....

Almost 2 months ...

Ben and I have been married for almost 2 months. I have to say they have been the happiest 2 months of my life. We have had so much fun together. We laugh a lot and are silly most days and on the days that I feel sad he is there for me too. I know that no matter what I do he will always be there for me and that really makes me love him even more. I hope he has had as great a two months as I have had. I love him more each day and I know this will continue because he is such a wonderful guy.

Student teaching is like halloween ... it's scary!

I am student teaching in a 4th grade classroom and today I had one of my professors observe my lesson from start to finish. This is a very intimidating process because the professor sits in the corner with a clipboard writing down all of the things wrong with your lesson. While she was doing this, my mentor teacher (the real fourth grade teacher) starts chatting a little with the professor. I tried not to imagine all of the horrible things they were saying about me. I was sure that my teacher wanted me moved to another class because I was useless to her. When my lesson was over the professor walked out of the class without saying one word. I was SO upset. I went back to my professor later to have a 'conference' about my lesson....I thought I was going to throw up. She brought her evaluation form and to my surprise and joy, she said only great things about me. She had no negative comments. She also told me that my mentor teacher LOVES me. I was so excited I nearly jumped out of my seat.
I have been stressing out about student teaching but now I feel like I can relax a little because I have proved myself as being capable of teaching. It is a good feeling to know that after 4 years of school you actually know what that you can put the knowledge to practice and can succeed out there in the 'real world'

Sorry

I would just like to say that I am truly sorry for anything I may have said or done while I was sick and cranky. I know that is no excuse for acting like a crazy lady, but it's all I have without admitting that I am a crazy lady. I just thank God that I have people that will put up with me and not run away when I am spewing fire.

tiny apartmets can seem big sometimes

Our apartment has 4 rooms. The kitchen, living room, Bedroom and bathroom. Now within this 400 square foot apartment my husband and I have claimed our territories. He likes the living room with his giant computer and giant tv and I like the bedroom with my comfy bed and books and laptop. They say that this happens over time, people tend to spend more time apart meeting their own individual needs so as not to get sick of each other but sometimes I wonder if this is the best thing. Really, I wish he was next to me on our comfy bed watching TV or reading while I write this blog and do homework. And I know he wishes I was out in the living room while he is surfing the web and looking up things to expensive to buy because he keeps asking me to come out there. However neither of us wish to give up our space and our time alone. We are both pretty independent people so it is ok but I guess I am feeling a little sad that we spent the day together .. but apart. I think I will go out there now and see what he is doing.

I am in love with penicillin

Man, I feel great! Aside from a raw throat (probably more from all the salt water gargling rather than the infection) I am feeling much much better. In fact, I feel better enough to worry about all of the things that I should have done over the weekend other than be ill. Homework, lesson plans, laundry, cleaning, and lets not forget getting the tags for my car. This was the one thing that I almost wish I had drug my self out of bed for. You see, getting my tags is rather an ordeal. This is because my car is still in my grandfathers name. I have to drive 80 miles to get the tags and my grandfather has to come with me to do it. Now, my grandparents have been calling me for weeks reminding me of this situation. Being busy with the wedding and school and work I pushed it to the back of my mind. However, I PROMISED my grandparents that I would come on Friday. I swore myself to it. But I could not keep this promise because I was at the health clinic (which by the way said I just had a virus...but that's another story). So all weekend my grandma has been calling my phone and all weekend I avoided her. Not just because I was sick, but also because I knew she would yell at me. I know, I am a major pansy. Anyway, since I felt better tonight I finally got up enough courage to answer her phone call. She heard that I had to go to the hospital and being a nice grandma she decided not to yell at me. So I escaped her rage for a while.

Shots in the Bum are not what I call a good labor day weekend!

A sunny day, perhaps a hamburger cooked on the grill, or even a refreshing semi-alcoholic beverage are all great ways to celebrate Labor day. Unfortunately, I am so sick that I had to go to the emergency room. They told me that in order to survive I would have to take 2 giant horse shots in a 'sensitive' area. Now, being one who likes to live, I decided to drop my pants and take it like a crybaby girl. I am feeling better now (about 6 hours later) so I guess it was worth it. Too bad hamburgers don't have the same effect as a penicillin shot. I gladly would have eaten more than my fair share.

Sick ...

I am sick today and let me tell you, I am no picnic to be around when I am sick. Let's just say I could be that head spinning girl on that movie. I feel sorry for my husband. He was up with me all night making me tea and bringing me medicine. He really is too nice. Not only did he not get any sleep, but he also had to work all day today. I hope tonight is better. However, I still feel horrible so I doubt it.

too much cleavage

"The dress code is as follows" My professor stated sternly, looking at all of us like we were in a police line up.
"No short skirts, tattoos, body piercings, and PLEASE no cleavage."

I glanced down at my own shirt and noticed a tiny bit of boob showing. Quickly, I pulled up my shirt. Geeze, I thought to myself, how am I going to find clothes that cover up these.

You see, if you have boobs bigger than a B cup then you have a hard time finding tops to fit without showing some cleavage. It is more of a challenge than one would think. However, I was already making a mental note of any shirt I might have that would suffice for this class. I came up with a big fat zero.

So I must shop tomorrow for at least 2 shirts that will hold the girls in until after class.

Wish me luck

I am in a mood

I really need to get out of it and fast before I do something stupid.

Back to work

Today was the first day back to Ninos. This week is all about training the new teachers and refreshing the old ones on rules and regulations. I was glad to see all my coworkers again. Many of us are friends and some even helped out with the wedding. There were a lot of new faces however. I had trouble learning names. I think it will take me a while. We also got to work on our rooms. I made a tree for my room. I think every good classroom needs a tree. They bring life into the space. Even if mine is a cardboard cut out tree it will still symbolize life and growth in the students.

I am trying something new this year. Every year we explain the rules. Now mind you that these are four year olds so there are not very many rules they can remember. Listening ears, walking feet, helping hands, quiet voice, and watching eyes. We explain what these mean and remind them periodically of the rules as needed.

The new thing I will be trying is a visual aid. I think this will help to have a pictures of each behavior to remind the students of the rules. Especially for ESL students I am also going to use these rules during circle time and the students can point to the pictures and explain the rule.

I am excited and nervous to start again. I know that I should be used to this by now, but I don't think you are ever ready for the first day of school. Especially with 4 year olds. There will be a lot of crying the first few weeks.

Hopefully by the end of 3 weeks we have a pretty stable classroom. Many of the students in my class are returning from a younger classroom at Ninos. So they know me and they know how to function in a classroom. I am ready for a great semester at Ninos.

Yea! We are stupid!

Ben fixed the surround sound. Would you like to know what was wrong? Well, I am going to tell you anyway. You see the 'sub woofer' and the 'far right' speakers weren't playing at all. *hehe look how technical I am!* Anyway, after about 30 minuets of tinkering Ben figured it out. The cords to these particular speakers were switched. I guess when 'someone' (not naming any names) put the surround system up, he/she mixed up the cords. After he/she figured it out, he/she called himself/herself stupid. And all I had to say to that was ... "Yea! you're stupid!" meaning that it is better to have switched the cords than to have Alan Rickman permanently break the expensive surround sound. So plus one for stupidity and minus one for Alan Rickman.

Current score:
Alan: -1 billion points
stupidity: 3

Alan Rickman broke the surround sound

Well, Alan, thanks a lot for ruining a perfectly good night. Apparently there is a problem with the surround sound. Also, because my husband said so, playing the movie on "regular" sound isn't a viable option. I guess Alan wouldn't like that either because he is used to getting played in DTS. He is such a snob. However, being the handyman that Ben is, he is fixing what Alan, too good for surround sound, Rickman broke. Wanker.

Best Friday night ever ...

Alan Rickman, Chinese food and husband. Well, not so much Alan Rickman in person but in a movie. "Perfume - The story of a murderer" I will let you guys know how it turns out. Looks promising. Anyway off to start the movie and continue my night of bliss. Ohhhh I smell popcorn. I love my husband.

Weird Wedding part 1

"We are so gonna bully the boys into going to Open Minds with us" my friend Amber laughed mischievously.

"That's right!" I agreed "I am getting married tomorrow we have to go." I was already day- dreaming of what the sex store, Open Minds, would look like. I pictured of aisles and aisles of all kinds of fun things to do ... on the wedding night of course.

"I think Ben will go in, he's kind of a skank" I told Amber

"I think I can get Rus to go in this time" Amber giggled. "Last time he wouldn't get out of the car"

I laughed at the thought of a 6 foot 6 inch bearded man too scared to go in the sex store.

We were girls on a mission.

Now if only our counterparts would agree to this ....

LATER THAT AFTERNOON...

"Ben," I said sweetly, stroking his hair

"Yes babe" he answered relaxed and unaware of what was coming.

"Me and Amber made some plans for all of us to hang out tonight after the rehearsal dinner ... Do you think you'd be up to it?"

"Sure hon" He replyed "What are we going to do?"

here it comes ... I thought to myself ... he will never go for this.

"Well we thought it would be fun to go to Open Minds" I said stroking his hair even more vigorously in hopes that it would numb his brain just enough to agree with the plan. I bit my lip preparing all my counter arguments in my head.

"Open Minds?" He looked at me questioningly

I opened my mouth to begin the coercing but was cut short

"Ok, that sounds good" He answered a little too quickly

I shot up, shoving his head away roughly. "What?" "You will go?" "I mean ... I"

"What?" Ben asked "You think that I wouldn't want to go?"

"Well, no ... I just thought I might have to persuade you a little" I said, disappointed that none of my well thought out arguments were going to be used.

"Hello - go to sex store with soon to be wife - good thing -me man - like sex - uhg."

Ok, he didn't really say that but something to the effect.

"I hope we can get Rus out of the car when we get there" I said.

Then I laughed,"you know - I think that sitting out in the car, in front of Open Minds, alone, is WAY more gross than going in with your significant other. I'll just remind Rus of this before we get there."

Ben laughed.

"It's almost time for the Wedding Rehearsal" I said glancing at the clock "I better get ready"

"Babe, you look great now get your butt into the car" Ben ordered

I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I just had to put on a little lipstick ...

Mmmmm Brocclinen

I love broccoli. It tastes really good cooked with a little lemon juice. The only problem is it smells really bad when you cook it. I tried to cover up the smell with 'clean linen' carpet fresh but unfortunately 'clean linen' carpet fresh and broccoli make an even worse odor than the broccoli itself.

I've given this odor a name: "brocclinen"

random questions

So they have this 'question's thing on facebook now. This is where you can ask your friends a question and they can answer it. they have pre-made questions for the very uninventive. However I, being inventive, have made up my own question for today. Unfortunately, because I am Chelsea and my random brain won't shut up I have thought of about 20 different random questions..... so I am going to post some of them so I won't forget when I need to make a new question on facebook. Oh and so my brain won't explode.

1. What IS the sound of silence?
2. What do little people do when they need 'knee highs?'
3. Where is Scarborough fair?
4. Can you by parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme there?
5. why do bald people shave their heads?
6. why does my husband have 500 hundred copies of 'Popular Science" magazine
7. Why are redheaded people called gingers? ginger is beige.
8. Why are squirrels cute but also creepy. I personally think it is their little white vests.

Well that is all for today...
maybe more later

Feelin' groovey

If you are ever in a contemplative, mellow, mood - Simon and Garfunkel are the BEST.

Also, the 'moon is over.I am so sad about that. I must have listened to the 'sound of silence' 8 times today to reflect the sadness. Ben had to go back to work today. :( But I was a good wifey and cleaned and cooked while he was gone. I am very proud of me.... you should be too. By the way Simon and Garfunkel are the coolest. That is all.

Chelsea's Life

No Bravery?

Why James Blunt? WHY? It saddens me to know that you are such a pansy. *shakes head in disdain*

Doin' a dance

I am almost done with school. The last day for summer classes is July 2nd. I realize that this is only 6 days away ....6!!!! I have a lab practical, a Biology final, a few scattered lesson plans and projects and presentations due and then I am free. A whole glorious month of freedom before school and work start again. What the heck am I going to do? I have never had free time before. I think I am going to take up a hobby like fishing... no ...stamp collecting .... no .... golf ... Hmmm, it's no wonder I never had a hobby before, they all suck. Well I'll keep thinking about it.


OH I GOT IT!

Illegal immigrant smuggling. Now that's a profitable hobby.

Nose Ring?

I know what you are thinking and all I have to say is "Why not?" I am fixing to be grown and married. My nose ring days are almost over .... I feel an urgent need to have a metal rod pushed thru my nose before it's too late.

Contingent identity

“Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves” my professor announced on the first day of class.

Great, I thought. This means I have to listen to a bunch of peoples names and locations. This is equivalent to enthralling conversation in a chat room where everyone announces their s/a/l in a big random list that I will never remember.

“Also,” my teacher continued “tell one thing that is interesting about you”

My ears perked up. My boredom was lessened and I was ready to by captivated by peoples interesting attributes.

We started at one end of the room with Kathy “Hi, my name is Kathy, I am from Tyler and I guess an interesting thing is that I am married with 2 children”

No Kathy – that is not interesting. I thought sarcastically to myself.

By the time the announcements had reached me almost everyone had said that they either did not have anything interesting about them, or that they had a husband/kids.

It was my turn now

“Hi, my name is Chelsea, I am from Tyler and ….” I was thinking about saying my interesting thing was I liked porn … just to see what would happen, but since that wasn’t true I decided against it.

“I can play the piano” I exclaimed, happy to have something to say about myself.

“ohhs” and “ahhhs” rippled throughout the classroom.

We finished the rest of the students' interesting things with more about being married, some about having a dog and one girl (who I thought was hilarious) said that an interesting thing about her was that she had no kids and was not married nor did she have any prospects.

By the time we were done I was wondering about identity. Does being married and having kids so consume you that you have no time for anything else? Or do you loose yourself completely and just become the “wife”. I know that God says for us to be one with our spouse but does this mean to loose all sense of yourself and your individual identity?

I am not encouraging people to be selfish or that you have to ‘find yourself’ before you can be happy. I think that being happy consists of doing things for others. However, I do think that even when you are married and have kids that you need to have something that makes you interesting other than that sole fact. I am not knocking motherhood or being married or anything like that. But something interesting means that maybe other people might not be able to do that, or perhaps some random fact. Lots of people are married and have kids (as we learned from the classroom example). Now, if you got married when you were 16 – that is interesting. If you have 9 kids –that is interesting. This is because it is not the norm.

I don’t just want to be Chelsea the wife and mother. I want to be Chelsea the wife and mother who is hot, and can play Mozart, and paint like a mo’ fo’ and is pretty darn hilarious and might even be intelligent (don’t know about that one yet).

So, I am calling all wives, mothers, and girlfriends to find something interesting about themselves. That has nothing to do with your male counterpart. You don’t have to have a talent to be interesting. How about “I collect toy trains” or “I have been to Egypt” or “I can hold my breath for 1 minute and 45 seconds” Anything that you think makes you different from other people. I know there has to be something …..

Do you ever have those days?

Where you feel like the most horrible person in the world? I feel like.... I don't know anymore.

I love Ben

How did I end up so lucky? I think God has blessed my life more than I deserve. Ben has to be the most wonderful person that I know. He takes care of me when I feel like crap, he cleans and cooks more than I do, and he makes everything go so much better. He needs a prize or something.

Fight or flight with a side of bile (which is an emulsifier)

My biology class is producing these biological functions and elements that are now ruling my life. Who knew that just a simple class could make you want to run far, far, far, far, FAR away. oh and throw up.

The best place in the WORLD to have a rehearsal dinner

Today we found out that our local Chinese restaurant will host our rehearsal dinner. This place is very special to Ben and I. We hung out there before we started dating and we went on our first few dates there. We have continued to be great customers of this place. So great, in fact, that they know our names and all that great stuff that makes it 'our' place. I am very excited about this and all I can say is I hope everyone likes Chinese food .... what am I saying - of course everyone likes Chinese food.

day three: sucess!

"ahhhh bear!!" I screamed.

"It's ok, it was just a dream, we are safe!" Ben soothed me while tapping on the car window to prove our safety.

I sighed a breath of relief

"Let's go swimming" I suggested

"It's like 60 degrees outside!" Ben exclaimed "It's too cold"

"Oh come on, we brought floaties!" we don't even have to get in the water just lay on top!" I urged

Ben agreed and we marched down to the lake ready for a great time.

I opened the floaties and we started blowing them up

about an hour later we were almost finished!



YEAH!

"Ok, jump in" I told Ben

"Ummm... you go first" He replied

I started to put my feet in the lake ... it was cold, really, really cold. But, because this was my bright idea I had to go thru with it. I grabbed my floaty and made a leap onto the float. Unfortunately, I missed, and sufficed to say I was not a happy camper (pun intended)

Ben, being smarter than I, did not get into the water.

We then decided that our floats made much better air mattresses than floatation devices.

"Hey, look, those people are laughing at us!" I pointed to our neighbors.

The family that was camping next to us was being very entertained.

In fact, we gave them such a good show that they gave us their leftover steaks and corn on the cob. mmmmmmmmm steaks!

Night 2: Heavy breathing

After more exploring, we made a meager fire, and a great dinner of hot dogs and smores. We were tired from almost being mugged so we settled in for the night. Since there was no chance of rain in the forecast, I quickly fell asleep.


"haasshh haa haa"

I woke up with a start to the sound of heavy breathing.

"Ben!" I said, shocked "just because we are in the middle of the woods doesn't mean I will...."

"Snore" - Ben was sound asleep.

"Oh, well" I thought to myself "I guess I was just dreaming."

"Haaaa hashhaa."

My heart started to pound - I wasn't dreaming. There was something right outside of our tent. Something big and scary!!!!!!!!

I hit Ben to wake him up quickly. "What!" He yelled at me, grumpy from being woken up.

"Shhhhhh" I cautioned.

"Do you hear that?" I asked him

"Haaaa hash hah"

Ben looked at me and said "What is that?"

"It's a bear" I squeaked.

" A bear!" he exclaimed "Cool!" Ben started to unzip the tent to get a closer look.

I hit him again, this time for being an idiot.

"Don't open the tent! Are you crazy!" I hissed "Oh my God, what are we going to do!"
"Get your gun!"

"I don't have a gun" Ben looked at me exasperatingly

"Ben, how can you come so unprepared to the wilderness" I said.

Ben answered "Look, a gun wasn't on the list of camping supplied that I pulled off of the internet."
"I'm sure it's not a bear" he whispered "It's too early for bears."

"Haaash haaa sha"

The breathing was getting louder, the animal was right in front of the tent door... our only exit.

"BEN!!!! You put the trash by the tent door!!!!" I hissed again.

There was no way out. We only had a small window on our other side and I didn't think I would fit through it. Curses for being fat!
I was going to get eaten by a bear. After he was done eating our left over hot dogs, I was going to be next. It will say on by gravestone "Here lies Chelsea - she was desert."

"I'll scare him off" said Ben "I'll just make a lot of noise."

Ben started yelling and clapping and I followed his lead by putting on my shoes and getting ready to run.

There was no more breathing. Everything was silent. Ben opened the tent door and everything looked normal. The only thing out of place was the trash bag which has been ripped open and it's contents spilled.

"I want to sleep in the car" I said

"It's gone!" Ben replied. "I'll move the trash bag, it won't come back"

"I want to sleep in the car" I repeated getting teary eyed. I had just had a near death experience.

"Baby, it's ok, the thing is gone it was probably just a raccoon" Ben tried to comfort me.

"I want to sleep in the car" I said once more

Ben sighed. "Ok let's go sleep in the car."

We grabbed our stuff and headed to the car for the second night in a row. Oh well, so much for tent camping.

Day two: Downtown Hot Springs.

Sorry it took so long to continue with our camping story – but I’ve been a little busy with getting engaged … *smile* Anyway here is an account of day two:

Ben and I woke up early to the birds singing outside our car window.

“Isn’t this great honey – nature right at our front door” said Ben, who was abnormally cheery for having just spent a night crammed into a car.

I glared at him menacingly “I need to take a shower” I growled. It was true, I did need a shower. If I had been a cartoon there would be green waves surrounding me.

“You do!” exclaimed Ben

Ben was exceedingly lucky that I was too tired to kill him. Not too tired to think it, just too tired to do it.

We dragged ourselves to the community showers to clean up. Afterwards I suggested that we take a trip to downtown Hot Springs to see all the touristy crap. Ben agreed and we were on our way. By the time we arrived, downtown was swarming with tourists. We pushed our way through the crowds and found very interesting shops to explore. My favorites were, the costume shop, the best fudge shop ever (it really was good) and the old toy’s toy store. As we were meandering about, a homeless person stopped me and asked me for money.

*cough* “you got any spare change” *cough*

“Sorry, don’t have anything.” I said truthfully

He glared at me

Ben and I carried on with our meandering but something was amiss… the homeless person was following us! I got completely freaked out and made a mad dash for the nearest store.

“What is wrong with you?” Ben asked

“That homeless dude was following us!” I explained

Ben looked at me like I was crazy.

He looked at me like I was even more crazy when I made us go to our car and leave the city of Hot Springs – without even looking at one hot spring. Ben was totally jipped. But because I am his girlfriend and also cute, he put up with me.

“Don’t blame me!” I said sweetly “Blame the crazy homeless guy.”

Ben said “of course I will honey, that’s the American way!”

And all was well in the land of Chelsea and Ben.

Guess what?

So I got engaged. How about that? And I didn't even have to pay anyone or get knocked up. We are so happy! The date, I think, is going to be around the second week of December. Tis the season to be married, right?

PS I am currently taking advice... with a grain of salt of course!

Peril in the Night

The sun glowed from behind the treetops a bright red-orange reminding us that it would soon be night. The disappointment of the Three Sister Springs had tired me immensely so we decided to visit “The Best Fudge Shop Ever” the following day.

We headed back to our tent sight to get ready for the night. After our dinner of turkey burgers and more Doritos Nacho Cheese Chips, we thought it would be great fun to start a fire (in the fire pit of course) and make s’mores. We put our pre-bought log in the pit with a heavy stack of kindling. Seeing as we are novices at camping, my dad thought it wise to equip us with a blow torch to start a fire.

Hmmmm good idea?

I think not.

Even though we had fun laughing maniacally while torching the giant log, it was rather in vain. Not only could we not start the fire with our flame thrower, uh I mean blow torch, we also used most of the propane … on our first night. Finally, we got a meager fire going. But in comparison to the surrounding campers, it was rather pathetic. I felt rather bad for us because making fires is sort of like comparing penis sizes, you want yours to be the biggest and the hottest. And as I had previously said, ours was really small. I felt like Bill Clinton. I needed reassurance in my camping prowess.

Utterly defeated, we climbed in our tent for the night. The rocks, holding our tent down, protruded into the tent making sleep uncomfortable to say the least. Finally sleep grabbed a hold of me and I was out like a light.

“drip,” “drip,” “pour” “CRASH!”

Oh goody, a hurricane, I thought. I felt the bottom of our tent. It was covered in water.

“CRASH”

Yay! More thunder and lightening. I suddenly remembered that I was deathly afraid of storms and there were no walls to protect me from this giant one. All the protection we had was a thin piece of leaky plastic. In fact, we were sitting in a puddle of water … which conducts electricity. And we were humans, which also conduct electricity --- we were practically goading the lightning to strike us. “Hey, you, lightening, over here! The big, pathetic, wet college students – you can’t get us! Na na na na na!”

“I think we should sleep in our car” I yelled to Ben over the loud rain.

“You think?” Ben asked sarcastically.

“Let me call my dad” I said

After a conversation of “it’s three in the morning you’d better be dead” from my dad, we decided to head for the car. And that is where we slept for the remainder of the night.

Even thought this was truly a night of peril, I learned something very valuable. I could totally live in my car. I always thought people who lived in their cars to be a little ‘unusual’ but seriously, it’s not that bad. You just recline your seat all the way back, put your feet on the dash and instant bed. Now that I think about it, it is a very cost efficient way to live – I think I might try that this summer, with the windows rolled down of course.

Three Sister Springs

Wow this is taking a lot longer than to write out than I thought.

Anyway, the Three Sister Springs is a magical place that cures every disease! Some examples of this mystic power are …




I was so excited to cure my 'mucus colitis' I could hardly wait to taste these cool refreshing springs.



Don’t they look inviting. “BUT WAIT!” what does that sign say in the left hand corner????



What a rip off. From this day forth, I shall never fall for some touristy crap again. So we ditched the Three Sister’s and traveled on to our next stop – the famous “Best Fudge Shop Ever” in the middle of down town Hot Springs. Boy, I can’t wait to taste the delicious fudge from the BEST FUDGE SHOP EVER!!!!!!!

Afternoon of Day One

Chuck stopped typing and looked us squarely in the eye “Well you are in sort of a bind eh?”

“You’re a smart Mr. Woodchuck” I thought to myself.

“I’m thinking that it was our error, so we will set you up with another tent site no extra charge” Chuck beamed at us benevolently.

“GREAT!” we both exclaimed.

So our trip came into full fruition when we were assigned tent-site T2.

We came upon our impressive site and surveyed the surrounding area. It was beautiful. We were right on the water and the pine trees sheltered us from most of the glaring sun and whipping wind. We set up our tent with little hassle.
You see, being the responsible people we are, we had been ‘practicing’ how to set up the tent before we even left Texas, so we were almost pros. I say almost because of one little problem. Our tent site was gravel and our tent pegs did not want to go into the hard and unforgiving ground. So we did the only thing our smart brains could think of. We weighed the tent down with large rocks. I rather liked the look. Our tent was the most unique on the strip. I felt just like a celebrity with people stopping by our tent to point and take pictures. I just waved sweetly and practiced my poses. My best: the pouty lip pose.
Once our tent was set up, Ben decided we were hungry. I, being the wonderful cook that I am, slaved away creating a masterpiece of sandwiches and Doritos nacho cheese chips. When we were finished, we went to do a little sight seeing. Right around the corner there was a tourist trap; I mean ‘attraction’ called “Three Sister Springs” a supposed cure-all for every ailment. Why a drink from these springs will cure my Mad Cow disease for sure! (Of course I don’t know for sure if I have Mad Cow disease seeing as it can live in your brain for 20 years before surfacing) All I can say is this attraction taught me what the word “charlatan” means. But that lesson is for the next addition of “Spring Break 2007”

Day One ... Triumph and defeat

Ben and I felt the exhilaration of hitting the glorious open road. It filled us with such joy that I could hardly control my foot from becoming entirely lead. You see, my family was getting farther and farther behind me. This, in itself, was a day of celebration! Ben and I were jamming to the tunes of Ralph Stanley, Jack Jonson and Michael Jackson (before he was creepy). What could be better. After several hours of driving, we arrived at beautiful Lake Ouachita State Park. The tall pine trees towered over us and the lake twinkled in merriment beckoning us to jump in. But first we had to check in at the visitor's center and get our tags for the campsite.

"Hi, we would like to check in, it's under Ben Warriner" Ben nodded towards the park ranger.

'Chuck' The ranger's name tag gleamed. I immediately thought of the Mr. Woodchuck ranger puppet from the TV show Full House and giggled a little.

"Ok, let me check our computers and see what we got for ya" The Chuck said politely.

"hmmmm" he scratched his chin in puzzlement "We don't have you in here" He looked up at us accusingly, "are you sure you made a reservation?"

"Yes," Ben exclaimed. "The lady I talked to said we were booked for this weekend."

"Well let me check again" The Chuck typed furiously at the keyboard while I tried to rhyme 'how many letters can a wood chuck type if a wood chuck could type letters...no it doesn't work. Ben then looked uneasily at me and I grabbed his hand in nervousness. It was like waiting for the announcement of the Grammy awards.

Oh and also, I had driven 5 hours to get here and there was NO way I was going to turn around.

"Ben Warriner, here you are" He said.

I smiled in relief. He called Ben's name. We had won!

"You are booked for June 15th. He raised his eyebrows towards us.

"WHAT" Ben and I both yelled in horror. It was not June 15th. It was not even May or April 15th. It was MARCH 15th - I started to hyperventilate.

What will become of us? Will we have to turn around and go back from whence we came? Or will we tell the park ranger that he better find us a place to stay or we will have to bunk with him tonight .... you'll find out in the next installment of "Spring break 07"

Ralph Stanley is like an orgasm for my ears …

Don’t ask me why I have gotten on a bluegrass music binge. Perhaps it is because we are traveling to Arkansas and bluegrass just gets me in the Arkansas mood. Mr. Stanley’s music can best described as the dueling banjos in the movie Deliverance ... plus singing. This music brings me back to the simple things of life, like nature, family, and overalls. I really, really REALLY want some overalls. Now I know what you are thinking … “fat people don’t wear overalls.” How wrong you are. Haven’t you ever seen these super fat guys that wear the white cut off Tee-shirts and the giant overalls – that could be me!

Arkansas or bust!

We are going to have a roarin good time!

Do you know how I know that? It's because even if we don't make it and break down on the side of the road with only a giant muddy ditch to comfort us, we are so over prepared that if we DO break down - we can just vacation on the side of that road. We have enough food for a month, clothes for about the same and even if there is no lake on or near the side of this road - we can blow up our inflatable floaty things and use then as beds, or use them to slide down the ditch or we could even create a make shift bounce house out of them if we get out the duct tape. Whatever happens - we will have fun. And I'm thinking we are going to do the make shift bounce house if we make it or not, that just sounds really fun.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

You know under normal circumstances one may wonder why anyone would willingly go to Arkansas. I happen to think however that it is a good thing!

Especially when you know no matter what you will enjoy yourself.

=B=

That butterfly feeling?

My boyfriend wears a funny hat...

My boyfriend wears a funny hat
it makes me kinda mad
ten feet high, up to the sky
I hope it's just a fad

My boyfriend wears a funny hat
it's white and sparkly green
stripes around, just like a clown
the worst I ever seen

My boyfriend wears a funny hat
it looks a little gay
he thinks he's cool to act a fool
Cuz it's saint Patricks day.

Chelsea, I love you!!

I just wanted you to know that I love you.

=B=

Ode of Love - by Ben

Your skin glows like the orange, blossoms furry as the lilac in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your saxophone voice and leaps like a goat at the whisper of your name, Chelsea.
The evening floats in on a great flamingo wing.
I am comforted by your shoes that I carry into the twilight of bus beams and hold next to my rib.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of blood.
As my testicle falls from my pants, it reminds me of your TV.
In the quiet, I listen for the last slam of the day.
My heated eye leaps to my bra. I wait in the moonlight for your secret piano so that we may ran as one, eye to eye, in search of the magnificent fuchsia and mystical hospital of love.

I can't even do one thing at once ...

Some people drive and talk on the phone, then crash and die. Some people watch a movie while doing homework and end up with 8 pages on how hot Jessica Biel is. And some people attempt to have sex with the TV on ... we all know how THAT one turns out. These futile attempts at multitasking almost inevitably fail. This is because two uncorrelated activities are being focused on which leads to being distracted in at least one.

I wish I had this problem.

Today, I realized that I do not even need a second activity to hinder my brain function. All I was doing was walking. Most people, by the age of 24, have gotten the hang of this motor skill but for some reason that unique part of my coordination is lacking.

"SPLAT"

Do you know what that sound is? It is the sound of me falling in the mud.

Thank you, that is all.

vacation is almost over ...

Real life is creeping up on me again as time for the new semester rolls around. I have had way too much fun this Christmas break. But, unfortunately, real life must commence.