I LOVE BEN!

SO . . . I do.

Every thing is so GOOOOOOD!

I can't wait to see him. . .

again.

I miss . . .

So many things about him.

his smile
his laugh
his touch
his eyes
his lips

I could fill up this whole page and still keep going. This is hard but it is ok because it is only for a little while. I know that he loves me and that is all that matters.

Wow this is Weird

I'm done . . . Weird. I am happy and sad all at the same time. --->going swimming tomorrow- should be fun. Cleaning as well. My apartment is going to look spectacular folks.

Also tomorrow a date (with my Ben) and possibly party and no school hanging over my shoulder. Fun stuff! Can't wait!

WHO KNEW?

That really gross people could get grosser . . . Really ... I mean this guy that I used to know (who I thought was REALLY gross) (and he was) well he used to try to get me to go out with him. Now, I being the nice person I am said "hell no" (ok those of you who really know me know that I really didn't say that but still)

anyway - I saw him again today - he works at a local restaurant and I was there with some of my friends and we were getting drinks. Well I didn't order anything (cuz I am poor) and he goes "what not gonna order anything" and I said "no - I'm a poor kid" He laughed and said he would 'cover' me ( I bet he would) *wink, wink* and then I was like "uh ok?" (HEY who am i to pass up free drinks? Im a poor kid remember!)

So then what does this dude have the balls to do? ask me what I was doin later tonight:) *giggle, giggle* So everyone at my table went "ooooooooo" like they know anything. lol So I said -uh I'm gonna be studying tonight. You'd think a man would get a clue but NO he goes "well don't study come over" and then everyone at my table went "oooooooo" again (I so coulda stabbed 'em with a fork) and then I said "um I really have to study - I have a final" so he said ok. Then he said he would "call me later"

WHAT THE CRAP - you know I can't be mean to people - grrrrrr. *sigh* he has already called me tonight and I didn't answer - so maybe he will get a clue - but I don't he is pretty stupid .. and did I mention gross?

So, So, Happy!

Finals are finally over this year! 3 A's and 2 B's. I am excited. I kicked Algebra and Chemistry's ass. I really proved that I could accomplish something I set out to do and that even when something is hard I can push just a little harder and accomplish my goals. Yeah me! LOL

Anyone out there .... Hello?

ummm so what? School is over and suddenly everyone drops off the face of the planet? What the crap? I miss everyone ... even Russell, no wait I have a better one ... I even miss Alvin - ok I won't go THAT far - I am just being dramatic. But anyway, people should write ... or call or something ok? Especially when Ben leaves because I will be so sad :(

This is why I DON'T live in the "real world"

AHHHHHHHHHH - whew I feel better. This whole "real world" thing sucks ass. Look, I have lived on my own before and it was not as complicated as moving into this apartment with Elizabeth. I hope it all works out- but there seems to be so many things going wrong - you know? I just am scared that it is all going to fall apart. Oh well I guess I will do what I have to do ... I will take care of it ... like always.

I think I have a problem

Ok, I know all of you are already nodding your heads in agreement - BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD WHAT MY PROBLEM IS YET! (ya'll are mean) *tear*
Anyway, I am supposed to be diligently studying chemistry right now so I can pull of a C in that horrific class - but I can't, I just can't study anymore. If I do my eyeballs will fall out of my head and my brain will ooze out of my ears. So ... If you think I am not attractive now - just WAIT - I will be even more ugly and Ben will have to buy me a mask! (it's not funny - stop laughing) But seriously, I think I am going to go to Elizabeth's and partake in some "special sauce" even before finals are over- is this wrong???? I think not. <>> *it's almost over, it's almost over*