I love hobos

I love hobos ... in fact, if I knew a hobo I would give him some beer and crack for Christmas. (and maybe a sock ... all good hobos deserve at least one). Now you may ask yourself "Why does she like hobos" and all I have to say to that is "You're one freaking idiot" and possibly "Why do you ask yourself questions? Do you not have any friends" for gods sake at least ask your dog or something. I mean what kind of person goes around asking himself questions? If you knew the answer, you wouldn't have asked yourself to begin with now would you?
Anyway, back to hobos. I just love 'em. I love 'em enough to write the annoying contraction "'em" and that shows pure careless adoration.
A few things I specifically love about hobos:
1. They know how to be resourceful. Not only do they "use and reuse" but they steal. Now that's what I call resourceful.
2. They know how to use their charm. I have never wanted roses, window washing or herpes more.
3. They get all the annoying people in the world to avoid them ...No, really have you ever seen ANY of them befriend/talk to/refrain from beating a doctor or lawyer? No. And this is because all doctors and lawyers suck and hobos wouldn't be caught dead associating with this "class" of society.
4. They are very skilled in pyrotechnics. Who knew you could make fire with a syringe?
5. They are very, very fast. A hobo has speed. Whether its running from the cops or running after you ... they are like lightning. I tried to race one the other day and ... well... we all know how that turned out now don't we.
If you really want to do something for christmas then for gods sake become a hobo.